IMG_5783I was coming home after dropping off my daughter at school and heard Terry Crews being interviewed on the radio. I knew he was on Brooklyn Nine Nine ( I have never watched but my hubby and son love it),  I knew he was a comedian and the Old Spice guy. Other than that I didn’t know much about him.The DJ introduced Terry by listing all of the projects Terry is involved with these days. The DJ asked how he had time to do so many projects.

One minute into his interview, I wanted to know everything about him.

Terry said, “ I am going to be completely honest, I used to be addicted to porn, addiction takes a lot of time”. He explained that now that he’s not addicted to porn, he has time to do productive and fulfilling things. He went on to talk about all of his failures. He said no one had failed more than him, and that is why he succeeds now. He said that people are living way to safe and you can’t be scared of being you. Take risks. He was so authentic and real.

I was not expecting to hear this raw truth during an interview with a comedian, on a morning radio show. It was so refreshing! I was instantly drawn to him. I felt better about myself. I have been feeling like a bit of a failure lately. He let me know I was going to be ok, he was.

You don’t hear many celebrities being honest about their failures, daily challenges or addictions. Reality is a bit skewed these days. FB and social media has become a place of posting about your kids amazing accomplishments, your perfectly cooked risotto at the hottest restaurant in town or your latest vacation to a tropical island. It focuses on mostly our accomplishments and how great our lives are. That is great, and there is another side.

You don’t see people post, ”Just got back from marriage counseling, it was a hard but productive session”. You don’t see mom post a picture of her baby screaming it’s head off a with the caption, “Today I hate being a mom”.  Even though these are realities, people prefer to only show the happy shiny facade.

We are afraid to share our failures. Why? It seems like we feel if we post about our amazing lives people will be drawn to us and like us more. We will feel validated that we are important. Ironically I have found the exact opposite to be true.

I have made a conscious decision to live and share my authentic life, warts, failures and all. Maybe that feels gutsy but the payoff is worth it to me. I am who I am. Sure I can glamorize the good stuff and brush the bad stuff under the rug, but that’s not who I am. Ironically, I have found that when I share my hardships with raising a daughter with bipolar, or how I have been in marriage counseling for 1 ½ years, people lean in. They open up to me about their lives. I am blown away by how many friends/clients I have that also have bipolar disorder and have never told anyone. They talk to me about their original struggles with it and how they are living awesome productive lives now. They tell me not give up and it will get better. They check in on me. If I didn’t share, I would feel so alone, so isolated. I am supported because I share. I am not alone because I share.

I encourage everyone to embrace who you are. Learn from Terry Crews. We don’t need to feel guilty or shame from our failures, we need to embrace them, share them and move on from them. Celebrate the good stuff and don’t be afraid to share your struggles. You will be amazed at the doors it opens and the support it brings.

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